Mr Romantic: A Naija girl's point of view.

 I often wonder how courting should be. Is it the average love notes and constant compliments that do the trick? Or something more? Well for me, here is a list of five perfectly unique courtship ideas I think you should try with your lady love and watch her fall hopelessly in love with you:

1. Take her shopping.

     My dear, taking her shopping means you always want her to look her best which screams class—trendy outfits, luxury hair, bags, shoes, and—oouuu let's not forget—mani-pedis... Purrr. I mean, who doesn't want to look expensive? Not me by the way.

2. Give her money.

  What screams LOVE if it's not your man crediting your account on a daily basis? It adds to flames, igniting the romance. Just thinking about it: if its not money, then what else? If you haven't been doing this, Chairman, wise up. Like Davido said, "love is sweet o. But when money enters, love is sweeter."

3. Buy her flowers.

     As a naija babe, I really don't see the whole point of this. But hey! It's the thought that counts, right? I will also suggest you add a food tray filled with her favorite meals. My brother, she's not a goat; she can't eat the flowers.

4. Be her peace.

      Women already go through enough with the demands of life, aside the constant troubles a relationship can produce. Try being her friend as much as you want to be her lover. Create a safe space between the both of you, a place where she can be genuinely open and comfortable.

5. Support her.

    I don't mean the normal financial handouts, which are great by the way. Help her out when she needs to solve a problem or follow something detrimental to achieving her dreams. Aid her in ways no one can, and listen to her. Be ready to turn up and be there for her no matter what she's going through, either emotionally or physically.

Thank you for sticking around till the end. If you enjoyed this piece, please feel free to comment below and share. You can also go through this blog to read other articles. 

                                      XOXO

An Insight into the lives of Domestic workers: Introduction.

 Hired helps are humans.            

In a country ravaged by poverty and disease, people seek to find means to survive, and that includes being hired helps to rich and middle class people.  

                                 
Being a hired help is not the bone of contention here; fate has its way of playing with us sometimes. How then do we ease the burden on hired helps. It's simply by being kind. This is not saying you should condone all of their inappropriate behaviour.  
                                     
Most times, kids are especially used as hired helps. However, if you have the financial capability to send them to school, please do. Feed them, clothe them, correct with love.

Goodwill always prevails over evil a million times. Sow a seed of love today to your house help and remember hired helps are humans too.

Note: How has your week been? Great? I hope. I have amazing news to share with you all and you're going to love this. We have a new writer joining us on here. He is a student of political science at Adekunle Ajasin University. He'll be our writer on politics, sports and humanity.

This piece is courtesy of I_am_immaculayte.

Let's not forget to leave our comments in the comment section below and share. Thank you.

Pilot.

 Someone once said all is not fair in the game of love.  It is a torture chamber - I'm told. A place not meant to exist...

Don't ask who said this, just know it was said.😉😅

I told you I'll be back and here I am with the latest tell tale. Y'all have been naughty naughty kids and what's worse?

You're even breaking hearts?! Interesting ...

Dee has come bearing gifts. 

 

Introducing, a weekly breakup talk session;

Heartbreak Family: The Breakfast Stories.

Coming to you every weekend( Fridays and Saturdays). Wonderful! That means you can send in your stories from Sundays each week.

Send in your stories with the link provided below👇

Be rest assured, you'll be anonymous and your identity is not disclosed to even me.😉

Darlings, talk to Dee.

                            Explicitly yours, 

                                        Dee.💋

Send me a secret message.

                    CLICK👆 

LDR: A Benefit?

 Out of all my relationships, I'd say my long distance relationships were the ones in which I had the time of my life. Of course, there were some down times, but who am I kidding? It was close to great. I know what you're thinking. Why does she think this way? What's so great about being separated from your significant other and having no control over the heart-crushing weight that comes with it? 

Well that's not so great, and I don't dispute it. It is heart-wrenching. But haven't we realized that we all simply get so lost in our partners—what makes them tick and how we should probably have lunch together every day? Of course, that's really sweet and beautiful—wanting to spend every waking hour with them till you can just melt into one. Okay, cheesy, right? Hahaha. 

The silver lining here is the hidden fact that time away from people we feel so strongly about is good for us. We become so engulfed into a world with them and sometimes even their individual lives. You forget about your own dreams, your own pursuits, prioritizing only their happiness within and outside of your relationship. The giddiness and thrill that come with a power bond like that makes it all the more exhilarating and blinds us. But at the end of the day, what do we really have to show that we have achieved anything, I mean, except for our romantic relationships? 

     

It may take many people years to realize this, but it didn't take me so long to. Along the line, I stopped thinking about long distance relationships as some sort of obstacle barring me from 'my love'. Instead, I embraced it. It was the opportunity I needed to focus more on my interests, on who I am outside of my relationship. Who I can be when I'm not daydreaming about the color of his eyes or how we'd look great together on a Christmas postcard. It was the open space that I didn't even know I needed to grow independently without the shadows of a relationship hanging round my star, distracting me from taking the steps I needed to elevate my station.

Everything doesn't have to change, and you really don't need to break up just because you're going to be separated by a thousand miles. Would you break up with your siblings who you love so much just because they were two thousand miles away? It's all in the head. You'll miss them and feel their absence every day. It's natural. It doesn't mean being separated is the end of the road. If anything, it opens new paths for both of you to explore on your own. It creates a time to experience what it means to bond with your own self, time to find what it is you are truly passionate about, to find your core, your essence.

 

And hey! You'll miss them. Sometimes you'll cry, but the separation doesn't remove everything you've built. With the right steps, it's a huge plus. What do I mean? When you're finally that individual you've always envisioned. When you are truly fulfilled, you will understand that you don't need to depend on your significant other to be complete.

                XOXO

Rebounding.

 Hello guys. 👋

It's been a while. I know that's an understatement as my last post was back in 2016. And this is—what is it again? Four years? Five to six years? Well, I really don't want to dive into the reason behind my absence...But! Here are a few things to keep you up-to-date: I didn't crash. I made it through high school. Boom! I made it into college; I'm three years in. And it's been a roller coaster of emotions. And in the shadows of COVID which halted the whole universe, life has been all about trying to go back to what life ought to have been and can be. I'm still trying to figure out how to make my place in the world, but I know that I'll get there. All I need is to 'hang in there'.

Here comes the big-but-not-so-exciting news: I lost my mum. And I never disclosed this in my other pieces, but I lost my dad when I was two. So the only parent I had ever known was my mum. She was father, mother, teacher and best friend, and that loss was the very definition of what we call world-changing. Luckily, I had my family to get me by. I still do, though. Much love from me to members of my family reading this!❤ 

And to others who can relate, I don't know if you ever felt like this since we all experience grief differently, but losing her felt like a wake-up call. I needed to grow up, but there was no one to nurture my emergence into adulthood, ensuring I made it there with important lessons except for me. I miss my mother every day. I do not get to have lazy long talks about simply nothing anymore. There's no one willing to listen to nothing just for the fun of it. 

    

It's been four years since her death, and I still get bits of depression just thinking about her. Truth is, I did move on. Not completely, but I did. I have a new life—one that isn't as magical, but still sparkles. Many times when I pass by strangers, and they're like “How're your mum and dad?” I smile and say, “They are fine.” It is what they are, fine people. 

Recently, an old lady asked this same question. I was going to smile my usual wistful smile and say, "They are fine." But I hung, turned, looked at her, wondering in those measly seconds why everyone assumes that we all have parents. Why do they think all families are structured the conventional way? If anything, at that moment I wished the old lady had never asked. And if she was as concerned as she seemed, then she could have just said, "How's the family?" And just maybe I wouldn't have turned cold and continued with the facade that had become my reality. Just maybe.

However, pushing aside my initial hurt, I looked into the woman's eyes, which were glowing and expectant by the way, and wondered why she shouldn't think all was well. Why should she have to predict that my family was out of the ordinary? Wouldn't that mean we all should start to expect sadness all around? Then I responded slowly and walked away.

 

Now that I think about it, I realize that we all have strong emotional burdens on all of our backs that we carry. Who knows if we're all pretending to be fine? And why not? Why can't we pretend? Why can't we be happy? If we allow ourselves, we would see that there's so much more out there that we should be thankful and grateful for. A lot of things we're failing to see that's worth being excited about. And why? We are so caught up in our grief and the struggles that keep coming at us and we forget to experience the other good things we already have. Let's learn to be happy with ourselves and not be the thorn in our own hides. 

                                   

                 XOXO