Ciao 2022. 👋

 To my faithful readers, 

       I want to say a very big thank you, for giving me your time and attention over the past few months. Its been a wonderful experience, writing, and getting to connect with a few people from my audience. I hope your year was as fulfilling and worth the effort. If yes, then I'm grateful for that and will continue to pray for your happiness. 

Although the year is coming to an end, I'll like us to take a moment to reflect and look back at what the year 2022 brought us, how we scaled through and what we learnt from our various experiences. Did 2022 change us? Make us better versions or the worst versions of ourselves? Or, was it just a period that phased out without achieving anything meaningful? Well, whatever it is our experiences might have been, I urge you to take it easy in all of your doings. You're brave, you're bold, you're special and unique. You deserve love and you're worth it. Never think less of yourself. 

Look to 2023 as a clean slate, 'a do over.' It might just be your best year yet, and Dee is rooting for you, as always. 

Ps: I'll be ending the year with the anniversary of my birth. Send me your prayers and well wishes guys. I'll really appreciate it. Now, I bid you a final farewell for the year. See you in 2023! Goodluck and Happy New Year! 

XOXO 

Is your father your father?

 Season greetings, my dear readers. Well I believe apologies are in order since it seems like I've been popping in and out of here as I please. For that, I tender my much overdue apology and will strive to do better in the future. 

Today, I'm quite curious about this particular subject, "paternity fraud." For a lot of you who know me, you would have realised that I've been over using twitter lately and its actually not my fault. I just find comfort in tweeting and retweeting my random thoughts. So I read, retweeted and liked a tweet on the subject I mentioned earlier and I'll be providing a screenshot below:

Other tweets I came across on other accounts were soliciting for strict punishment to be meted out to paternity fraud perpetrators. I'll provide pictures of the tweets below:

Now, building on the above; I dashed to Google to research on the topic, "Paternity Fraud" and shockingly I found out that Nigeria has the second highest rate of paternity fraud in the world after Jamaica. It is imperative to add that presently, there are no legal consequences for mothers who commit paternity fraud and therefore it is not punishable under the law. For those of us who may be lost, and as such still don't understand the subject on which this article has been written, it is vital that I define what paternity fraud means.

What is Paternity Fraud?

Paternity fraud, occurs when a man is incorrectly identified as the biological father of a child. The underlying assumption of "paternity fraud" is that the mother deliberately misidentified the biological father. Paternity fraud is related to the historical understanding of "adultery."

I am not here to judge, but I'm a firm believer of calling a spade, a spade. I really do not understand why a person you claim to "love" has to be at the receiving end of such level of wickedness. I for one have personally not witnessed such a scenario but I think I can imagine the heartbreak and depression it brings to its victim. It really is a problem and the question herein is why do women commit paternity fraud and should there be legal consequences provided for it? 

Ps: #isyourfatherreallyyourfather?

However, if you suspect that you are not the father of the child your spouse is carrying, here are a list of things I recommend you do based on my research:

1. Get an experienced lawyer.

2. Make sure you're not on the birth certificate. 

3. If the mother files and serves petition, request for a DNA test.

XOXO 

Bitter Sweet Rain

There's a tiny dark cloud that hangs above my head and I just can't seem to shake it off. It's my birth month, and I'll be turning 21 this year. 

I've been a little indifferent, not wanting to be expectant or overly excited but I've also been a bit enthusiastic about it especially because it's the period I get to read people's thoughts, prayers and well wishes for me. Hahaha, the best part are the presents I get! 

This emotion isn't usual, why? Normally, I'd have been gushing and coming up with different birthday ideas from the June-July of every year. So I asked myself, "what is wrong?" And I finally got my answer.

In a way, I feel sad for my mum. She doesn't get to see her baby turn 21. She doesn't get to see her grow. I also feel sad for me. I don't get to have my mum and I don't get to experience what she would have made this birthday feel like had she been here. And that's just the thing, the special spark about the 21st birthdays, isn't just there. So I guess, no matter how hard I try to light the candle, it doesn't come on and when it does, the flames die out as quickly as they came on. Its amazing how everything gets so embedded into one another and its crazy that I didn't even understand that this was how I felt until I sat down to actually think about it.

The past doesn't just go away because we wish it to. When I look at people who are going through a tough time, my heart goes out to them. It's not everytime I reach out and most times I act and pretend like I don't see it. 

Not because I don't understand it, but you see there's a way relating with pain wounds you all over again and reopens scars left by old wounds. I guess maybe feigning ignorance is my form of self care. It's selfish, I know. But I really just started understanding what to love oneself means and so far, it's been a beautiful and rejuvenating experience and I can't wait to get to know more about myself. 

This process has made me understand that I'm indeed not as simple as I always thought and within lies a very complicated but unique individual. 

XOXO