LDR: A Benefit?

 Out of all my relationships, I'd say my long distance relationships were the ones in which I had the time of my life. Of course, there were some down times, but who am I kidding? It was close to great. I know what you're thinking. Why does she think this way? What's so great about being separated from your significant other and having no control over the heart-crushing weight that comes with it? 

Well that's not so great, and I don't dispute it. It is heart-wrenching. But haven't we realized that we all simply get so lost in our partners—what makes them tick and how we should probably have lunch together every day? Of course, that's really sweet and beautiful—wanting to spend every waking hour with them till you can just melt into one. Okay, cheesy, right? Hahaha. 

The silver lining here is the hidden fact that time away from people we feel so strongly about is good for us. We become so engulfed into a world with them and sometimes even their individual lives. You forget about your own dreams, your own pursuits, prioritizing only their happiness within and outside of your relationship. The giddiness and thrill that come with a power bond like that makes it all the more exhilarating and blinds us. But at the end of the day, what do we really have to show that we have achieved anything, I mean, except for our romantic relationships? 

     

It may take many people years to realize this, but it didn't take me so long to. Along the line, I stopped thinking about long distance relationships as some sort of obstacle barring me from 'my love'. Instead, I embraced it. It was the opportunity I needed to focus more on my interests, on who I am outside of my relationship. Who I can be when I'm not daydreaming about the color of his eyes or how we'd look great together on a Christmas postcard. It was the open space that I didn't even know I needed to grow independently without the shadows of a relationship hanging round my star, distracting me from taking the steps I needed to elevate my station.

Everything doesn't have to change, and you really don't need to break up just because you're going to be separated by a thousand miles. Would you break up with your siblings who you love so much just because they were two thousand miles away? It's all in the head. You'll miss them and feel their absence every day. It's natural. It doesn't mean being separated is the end of the road. If anything, it opens new paths for both of you to explore on your own. It creates a time to experience what it means to bond with your own self, time to find what it is you are truly passionate about, to find your core, your essence.

 

And hey! You'll miss them. Sometimes you'll cry, but the separation doesn't remove everything you've built. With the right steps, it's a huge plus. What do I mean? When you're finally that individual you've always envisioned. When you are truly fulfilled, you will understand that you don't need to depend on your significant other to be complete.

                XOXO