My dear readers, I'm proud of you. You've made it this far and you're still standing, despite how hard it might be to. It's quite disheartening, however, how long it took me to write to you after my last post, but know that I have thought of you constantly and my heart is never far from this space that we've all come to know and love. I sometimes come on this page, not as the author but as the reader, loving the view and taking in every article that has taken abode in this space. I look at them, and it reminds me of every section of life that I have lived and the air that I breathe. And it makes me fall in love again with myself, the work of art that is my mind and soul, and grateful to God our creator for giving me life and this gift.
Whilst in my gratitude, I cannot forget how long the year has been and the process I have had to undergo.
Before the end of 2022, I had made my 2023 To-Do list and didn’t want to fill it up with so many things that I possibly couldn't achieve because of how spontaneous life can be. So I kept it simple, and so far, hopefully, before the year runs out, I'll be able to cross item 4 off my list. Here is the list below:
This year started with a lot of rejection. Lol. I had sent out poetry, short stories, creative works to international magazines, and it all got rejected. Was I bummed and dispirited? Definitely! Did that hurt my ego and confidence in my art? Yes, it did.
So there I was, unmotivated, considering giving up writing altogether when I finally realized that it is a process and just because they rejected my work doesn't mean I wasn't good enough. It doesn't measure my value as an artist. Art is subjective, and I definitely will win some others as I forge ahead in the future. With that mindset in tow, I continued to write because I enjoyed it, and I continued to grow.
The second phase of the rejects came from job applications. I remember my friend, Amaka, and I lamenting on how it was so hard to come by internship jobs since we were still college students without superb results and necessary connections that other students seemed to have.
It's funny now that I think about it, but it wasn't funny then. The feeling of being lost and reaching out but having no one to hold your hand felt so permanent, and I already felt like a failure.
So there I was, unmotivated, considering giving up writing altogether when I finally realized that it is a process and just because they rejected my work doesn't mean I wasn't good enough. It doesn't measure my value as an artist. Art is subjective, and I definitely will win some others as I forge ahead in the future. With that mindset in tow, I continued to write because I enjoyed it, and I continued to grow.
The second phase of the rejects came from job applications. I remember my friend, Amaka, and I lamenting on how it was so hard to come by internship jobs since we were still college students without superb results and necessary connections that other students seemed to have.
It's funny now that I think about it, but it wasn't funny then. The feeling of being lost and reaching out but having no one to hold your hand felt so permanent, and I already felt like a failure.
However, if there's one thing ingrained into me early in life, it's to not sit around moping and wallowing in self-pity. So I thought to myself, the people getting these opportunities I want so badly, how are they doing it? I asked the right questions, learned the right skills, took the right courses, and applied myself fully to the process. And I must say, hard work and smart work truly pay. As of the end of July, I got two internship offers. I was overjoyed. And everything felt so surreal. Like how? Nevertheless, I was grateful to God for giving me strength to forge on even in the midst of disappointment, and you know the saying, "There's light at the end of the tunnel"? There indeed was light.
For my relationships? I reflect on the year 2022 and how it played a monumental role in shaping the relationships I now cherish in 2023. 2021-2022 were years of revelations, and I'm indeed happy that I've finally severed ties with so many situations and people. I have come to see and accept present events as they are and what they are, finding contentment in just being. Nevertheless, I do wish everyone I no longer speak to immense happiness and a fulfilling life.
2023 has been a year of immense growth and change. I'm grateful for all that has been thrown my way because if there's one thing I understand now, it is that God doesn't give you struggles you can't handle; all you need to do is to let His spirit guide you.
So to my dear loyal readers, whether the year 2023 has been fruitful or not, approach the end of it with gratitude. For in fact, there is light after darkness. You just have to trust in yourself and your creator. You are more than enough to get you to the path you aspire to be on. Regardless of how far away it seems to be from your grasp, you'll get there. I'll put a pin in it here for now; I look forward to seeing you in the new year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
PS: As is the status quo, I'll be celebrating the end of the year with the anniversary of my birth. I'll really appreciate it, if you say a little prayer for me.
Bisou Bisou,
Dee.