'The Cat's Out of The Bag'

 We don't give our parents nearly enough credit. Why am I mentioning this first? It's not a very long narrative, so let's get started.

I recently tried my hand at playing "house" — which was a failed attempt, by the way, because after two days, I wasn't having it anymore. I adopted my younger sister's cat and was so excited about it, I even went as far as ordering him a personalised collar and shopping for grooming materials. There was this unexplained joy at the thought of getting a pet and I looked forward to it.

This is where the story gets funny, I sent him back to my sister after two days. Hahaha, funny? I love Stitch (the cat's name) but he was a different level of obligation I wasn’t entirely prepared to take on. I took my sister up on the offer without thinking about it thoroughly and as much as the idea of adopting "a baby"— as I called him— was fun, the obligations of a cat mum was not something I wanted to fully assume. 

Although he was cute to carry and play with, ensuring my apartment stayed kempt while making sure he wasn't maimed or bruised and seeing to his overall needs were all so much to handle. 

In a way, living all by myself for the most part of the years since I started college has gotten into my system so much that it's now a part of my personality. I love my space and being alone, I love the quiet and serenity that comes with having a small space that's like a haven filled with my favourite things; from books, to music, to movies and my favourite snacks, my apartment is the one thing I'd miss when I'm eventually done with college. In a way, it has helped me to be more in tune with my inner self and has sort of, affected how I relate with people. I’ve had no need to explain my mood, forcefully socialise or talk to anyone when I don't want to and doing things differently forces all that from me as I'll have no choice than to relate, socialise or explain why I'm not interested in talking, if I'm offended because I'm not talking or if I'm familar with the latest trends— lol, like I care 🙄. To be honest, I love the distance, I embrace the distance. Why? I can't tell, yet.

Moving along, I started this article with how we don't give our parents enough credit and this is me just fully realising and experiencing how being a parent feels. Not that I've not had to take care of anyone else but a cat. I mean, I have nephews and a niece who are left in my care whenever I'm home but I've never really had to think about how to provide for them, all I ever concerned myself with was making sure they were bathed, fed and didn't make a mess. With Stitch, it was different. 

I wasn’t just making sure he was clean— which he does on his own by the way,— but also fed and didn't go turning the room upside down. I didn't know if I'll be able to always provide meals for him because I'm still a student, but more importantly, I was worried about his health, about how to train him and keep him indoors because he is so energetic and always wants to play— when all I've ever known how to be is an indoor person and wouldn't want him to be any different. I worried about coming home to meet my apartment in disarray and having to reassemble my things each time. 

If anything got damaged, there was nothing to be done, he's a baby, he doesn't understand. I thought about the time I had to put into distracting him from being too curious about everything. The strain, the stress, I just couldn't deal.

 Not to be a spoil-sport but cats are very independent animals and this is why I thought we would be a good match but after this experience, I have come to the conclusion that that cats are independent is a cliché because all cats aren't the same and this applies to people as well. While some are independent, others prefer the excessive show of affection and attention and I wasn't ready for such. 

Not to say my experience is anything close to what a parent goes through but it was after this, I understood how stressful being one must be. Parents do not only rely on their biological connection to train a child, they care for a child in all areas of the child's life and see to the upbringing of the child through all the stages of development. 

In a nutshell, the sacrifice that goes into parenting is not one to be trivialised, really, because no one just knows how to be a parent. It is through trials and errors, making choices you believe to be right and putting in the efforts to nurture the child, among other things, that sets one on the path to being a true parent. 

That said, to the parents and intending parents out there, I'm sending you my love and best wishes. The world wouldn't be where it is today without y'all and I thank you for always coming through and being there for us.

Without further ado, I'm signing off today to be back here soon. I leave y'all with a few songs on my playlist that you should really listen to, if you haven't already;

• ‘My Kind of Brown’ by Johnny Drille

• ‘Driving in the Rain’ by Johnny Drille

• ‘Am I wrong’ by Nico & Vinz

• ‘2 Much’ by Justin Bieber 

XOXO

PCOS: A cause of Infertility?

Are your periods regular? Have you been putting on a lot of weight lately?

Or do you just have excessive acne? Why am I asking these random questions? My guess is, you're confused. 

Ever heard the term, "PCOS?"

No? Yes? Maybe? Hahaha. PCOS is an acronym for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Sounds different, ugh? Bingo! I've captured your interest. 

Now that we've gotten here, I'm sure you want to know all about it and I'm happy to tell. Grins

What is PCOS?

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal imbalance caused by the ovaries (the organ that produces and releases eggs) creating excess male hormones called Androgens. 

If you have PCOS, it simply means your ovaries produce unusually high levels of Androgens.

As a result of this, people diagnosed with PCOS often have irregular or missed periods, excess acne, unpredictable or no ovulation at all, etc, and this (anovulation) may cause small cysts (fluid-filled sacs) to develop on the ovaries.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is quite a common condition and up to 15% of women of reproductive age have it.

What Causes PCOS?

ANDROGENS (MALE HORMONES)

I know I've already mentioned earlier that excess release of the male hormones (Androgens) is a major cause of PCOS. But how?

Experts have confirmed through several studies that high levels of androgen also called "Male hormones" prevent the ovaries from releasing eggs — that is the process known as Ovulation. Lack of ovulation leads to irregular menstrual cycles and it may also cause small fluid-filled sacs to develop in the ovaries. Furthermore, high androgen levels can also cause excess acne and hair growth in women.

INSULIN RESISTANCE (IR)

Another major factor that causes PCOS is Insulin resistance (“IR”). Insulin is the hormone that helps regulate the sugar level in the blood. With IR, the body cells don't respond normally to insulin and this causes the sugar levels in the blood to rise abnormally. Because glucose or sugar cannot be absorbed easily by the cells, glucose builds up in the blood. This could eventually lead to Type 2 Diabetes if not immediately treated.

Since the body no longer responds normally to insulin, it builds up in the body and triggers higher androgen levels which causes PCOS. 

Additionally, obesity (being overweight) can also increase insulin levels and make PCOS symptoms worse.

Lastly, people with PCOS tend to have chronic low-grade inflammation and it can be exacerbated by an unhealthy lifestyle that includes smoking, poor dietary, alcohol consumption, sedentary behaviour, stress and weight gain.

Symptoms Of PCOS

The most common symptoms of PCOS are:

• Irregular or missed periods.

• Abnormal hair growth. 

• Excess acne. 

• Obesity. 

• Infertility. 

• Loss of hair.

• Cysts. 

Etcetera. 

The major risks of PCOS are:

• Infertility or Subfertility.
• Diabetes.
• Lipid abnormalities.
• Cardiovascular risks.
• Obstructive sleep apnea.
• Endometrial cancer.

However, not all women diagnosed with PCOS will develop these conditions but they are possible long-term health risks associated with PCOS.

How is PCOS treated?

According to my research, PCOS can be treated based on symptoms, medical history and other health conditions. Treatment can include medication, lifestyle changes or a combination of both. Best consult a physician.

It is also important to note that a person can only be properly diagnosed with PCOS when a physician tests her physically through the use of an ultrasound scan, a pelvic exam, and blood tests. Also, a physician can ask about your medical history, family medical history and symptoms when making a diagnosis.

Heartbreak Kills.

I often wish that I had met the people in my life right now, before the people that were previously in it. And if I had met them first, would I have given them the same opportunities I gave the people who were in it in the past? Would they hurt me as I have been hurt, or would they be as they are now? As I've come to know them to be. I really don't know and I can't state otherwise, but as I write to you, my dear readers, at 12 midnight, I can't help but to keep reflecting and pondering over the past; the better decisions I should have made, the things I should have said and refused. It's out of my hands, I know, but it really isn't in my nature to go easy on myself. I am responsible for my life and my choices. I'm responsible for its effect on me as well. 

While I'm still in the process of learning to move on and forgiving myself, I have also come to terms with the fact that in order to live a life one doesn't end up regretting, we are responsible for the people we let into our lives, the people we give access, the people we allow to exercise some control over us, based on how vulnerable we become with them. They have the power to make and destroy us. 

Although, it has not received a proper diagnosis, but indeed, I believe heartbreak kills. It distablizes a person. You can't function, you can't think, and then it feels like your heart literally got ripped out of your chest. The depression, the sadness, the grief and many more. I know it very well, because I've been there. Heck, I went from being an innocent girl without a single flawed view about the world to a woman that sees gray areas in every situation that presents itself and isn't such a huge fan of  "people." Now, I'm in no way urging us not to love or let people in, I'm just stating the need to be more careful with whomever we choose to let in when it comes to our various relationships or friendships. The trauma that comes with not making the best decisions isn't worth the heartache, trust me.

Unfortunately, I can't time travel to change the past, but I'm forging a new life and a new stance. I've buried the past finally and severed the last of the threads that hopefully won't re knot themselves. Ofcourse, the scars from those wounds are evident in my present life but so far, letting go has been like the balm the doctor prescribed. 

XOXO 

Welcome to 2023. ✨️

 Hola Amigos! Happy new year.

I'm so glad we made it! I hope the new year has been treating us well? If not, then sober up, the ride just started. Who knows? You might get to mind blowing destinations you never expected. As for me, it's been going great. Although, I have tests to take and my exams are starting in a few weeks but I feel alright, and I'm hopeful that it will turn out fine in the end. 

Lately, I've been so low on social energy. I can't wait to get away from people as quickly as I can. To be honest, socialising can be draining and it definitely isn't one I'd like to call sport. Frankly, I never thought I'll get to a stage in my life when I'd prefer my solitude to the presence of people. Could it be an age thing? I mean, I'm getting older as the months roll in and out. Anyways, I found that I'm stirring into my introverted ways and losing touch with my extroverted ones. The once bold and outspoken lady is turning into a shy and, 'into her shell' kinda lady. I'm not complaining. It is actually to my satisfaction. I get longer hours to myself and to just enjoy the bliss that is me, myself and I. There are no over complications and scenarios playing out and I can be real and live without being bothered about certain stressful situations that kept me on my toes over the past few years. I feel as though now, I just started to breathe, and I just started to live.

Nonetheless, I feel like this 2023 is going to be a good one and I continue to anticipate, even if I really have no idea what I should be looking forward to, but then again, it is always nice to keep a positive attitude. Today, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Amna Dhanani;

"People don't believe 

  When I tell them I have depression 

  Because when I laugh 

  I laugh with my heart

  And when I live

  I live the smallest things to the

  fullest

  Because if I have to live in the

  suffering 

  Then I want to live in the happiness 

   too."

XOXO