PLAIN RADICAL HONESTY

It's April dear readers, and while I'm not so enthusiastic about seeing what the second quarter of the year has in store, I'm writing this article in hopes that you learn something from my newest discovery. 

Let's talk about honesty, and not just any form of it. I mean plain, radical honesty in relationships. To be frank, I've been seeing someone for the past few months, and while I haven't been so public with the whole experience, it's been wonderful and unlike anything I've experienced. I found not just a partner but a friend.

Here's why: In the past, I've often had to prove myself. I've had to make people want to stay just because of what I could give or offer them. I didn't mind, especially when it came with self-inflicted inconvenience. All I needed was for them to stay, and it was my way of holding onto the said friendships. I was also afraid of what speaking my mind could do to those I called my friends, and it was a huge internal conflict within me, especially because I don't believe in telling people I call friends the same BS they want to hear just because we are friends. So, in whatever they did, I mostly held my tongue or looked the other way when I could. In other cases, I spoke my mind, and it led to the end of the friendships. 

Not to derail from the subject matter at hand, but those experiences have somewhat made me understand that people don't really mean it or flat out don't know what they're asking when they say they want you to be honest with them. 

Here, the big question always is: can they handle honesty?

The harsh truth is that they can't. I've learnt this the hard way, and it's brazen in the walls of my mind now.

With this person, I'm in awe of not just their personality but our relationship when arguments and modes of reconciliation play into the dynamic. It's mind-blowing how we're so eager to understand and get to the bottom of the PROBLEM and not just who said this or who said that. We're intentional about US, and we leave no misunderstanding unaddressed. It's a game-changer, and I'm starting to see how deep a relationship can actually be when you're just being yourself.

This blog post has no definite direction other than me just sharing my mind-blowing discovery, and I'm afraid you might be confused as well as I am as to where this is going, but whelp! Having the right kind of people, "intentional people" in your life, goes a long way and adds nothing but positivity to you. I've not had to pretend or tune down my thoughts, I've not had to make over-the-top sacrifices just to keep a relationship, and to me, that is bliss. The fact that a person chose and loves me for who I am is more than I could ever ask for.

Anyways, why am I ranting about PLAIN RADICAL HONESTY so much?

Ever thought about what not having honest discussions with someone you consider a friend, partner, sister, heck, your whole family does to you?

 

Avoiding what needs to be addressed leads to building up a silent resentment towards them, which could ultimately destroy the relationship you have with that person. It's something I didn't realize until, of course, I experienced it, and I understand it more now.

So let me just say, plain radical honesty can transform your relationships and make them more fulfilling. It's essential to have people in your life who are intentional, and with whom you can have open and honest communication. Trust me, it's the way to go.

As a special 'Thank you' to my audience, and for the massive support I have received over the months. I'll be taking monthly blog topic suggestions. Let me know, if you're interested, in the comment section below. 

XOXO