UNPLUGGED

I was watching a Korean thriller a few days ago and in the movie, the guy had installed spyware into his victim's phone and was watching her every move through the spyware. He was literally spying on her, listening in on her conversations, watching her, had access to her social media etcetera. This guy had her in the palm of his hands just because he could get into her phone, and when I deeply think about it, it makes me want to toss my phone and never own one ever again.

Lmao, but that isn't possible. While I don't dispute that these tiny computers have somewhat become so important to us and are very essential in living, especially in the world of today, I've wondered if people can actually live without their phones for even a day or two without going completely nuts.

I say this because I remember a day when Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp - the Meta world in general, had a problem and we couldn't access our social media for the entire day. Luckily for me, I was so busy offline, and after I came home that day, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, eat my dinner, watch a movie, and maybe then drift off to sleep. Sleep I did not, as I settled into watching Squid games, which had 1-hour long episodes, and I couldn't stop myself from watching until the end. Totally engrossed in my series, I completely forgot about social media and the outside world in general. It was not until I thought to check my messages the next day that I started to realize what had gone down the other day. I came online to meet rants, lamentations, and I couldn’t relate because, matter of factly, I didn't see how a whole day without social media was such a bad thing.

Sometimes I spontaneously turn off my phone just to be disconnected from technology for the whole day. I want no contact with the outside world, and I want nobody contacting me as well. Although going off like that can cause people who care about me a lot to worry, and that is why I don't do it so much. But on a few days, I like to drift away from the world that is the internet into my own world, the world that people forget to live in.

I like to take long walks at night, with the cool breeze blowing, touching my skin and hair. I like to admire nature: the trees, flowers, sunsets, and animals. I like to gaze at the stars and wonder why the moon is so bright at night. I bask in the solitude that just living in the world allows me to enjoy the simple things that make Earth, Earth. I like to know people and not what they post on social media. I'd like to know them, really.

In essence, I think we've all become so accustomed to the world online that we forget about the real world—the world we live in and I think it leaves a gap in a person. I mean, when you find fulfillment only in the things the world online gives you and can't do the same offline, it leaves a type of void that you might never know how to crawl out from. So why not start small? Take a day or two off and see what happens.

Hey look over here — If you've been enjoying my blog, abeg support your girl by subscribing via email and sharing my links. Also, in my previous post I asked readers to drop topics they would be interested in reading. Anyhoo, you'll be seeing me soon, I've got something cooked up. 😉 

 XOXO 

PLAIN RADICAL HONESTY

It's April dear readers, and while I'm not so enthusiastic about seeing what the second quarter of the year has in store, I'm writing this article in hopes that you learn something from my newest discovery. 

Let's talk about honesty, and not just any form of it. I mean plain, radical honesty in relationships. To be frank, I've been seeing someone for the past few months, and while I haven't been so public with the whole experience, it's been wonderful and unlike anything I've experienced. I found not just a partner but a friend.

Here's why: In the past, I've often had to prove myself. I've had to make people want to stay just because of what I could give or offer them. I didn't mind, especially when it came with self-inflicted inconvenience. All I needed was for them to stay, and it was my way of holding onto the said friendships. I was also afraid of what speaking my mind could do to those I called my friends, and it was a huge internal conflict within me, especially because I don't believe in telling people I call friends the same BS they want to hear just because we are friends. So, in whatever they did, I mostly held my tongue or looked the other way when I could. In other cases, I spoke my mind, and it led to the end of the friendships. 

Not to derail from the subject matter at hand, but those experiences have somewhat made me understand that people don't really mean it or flat out don't know what they're asking when they say they want you to be honest with them. 

Here, the big question always is: can they handle honesty?

The harsh truth is that they can't. I've learnt this the hard way, and it's brazen in the walls of my mind now.

With this person, I'm in awe of not just their personality but our relationship when arguments and modes of reconciliation play into the dynamic. It's mind-blowing how we're so eager to understand and get to the bottom of the PROBLEM and not just who said this or who said that. We're intentional about US, and we leave no misunderstanding unaddressed. It's a game-changer, and I'm starting to see how deep a relationship can actually be when you're just being yourself.

This blog post has no definite direction other than me just sharing my mind-blowing discovery, and I'm afraid you might be confused as well as I am as to where this is going, but whelp! Having the right kind of people, "intentional people" in your life, goes a long way and adds nothing but positivity to you. I've not had to pretend or tune down my thoughts, I've not had to make over-the-top sacrifices just to keep a relationship, and to me, that is bliss. The fact that a person chose and loves me for who I am is more than I could ever ask for.

Anyways, why am I ranting about PLAIN RADICAL HONESTY so much?

Ever thought about what not having honest discussions with someone you consider a friend, partner, sister, heck, your whole family does to you?

 

Avoiding what needs to be addressed leads to building up a silent resentment towards them, which could ultimately destroy the relationship you have with that person. It's something I didn't realize until, of course, I experienced it, and I understand it more now.

So let me just say, plain radical honesty can transform your relationships and make them more fulfilling. It's essential to have people in your life who are intentional, and with whom you can have open and honest communication. Trust me, it's the way to go.

As a special 'Thank you' to my audience, and for the massive support I have received over the months. I'll be taking monthly blog topic suggestions. Let me know, if you're interested, in the comment section below. 

XOXO