Papa, Is That You?

Today is Father's Day, and as I reflect on this occasion, I realize that I may not be the most qualified person to discuss the topic. Having lost my father at a very young age, I have no personal experience of the father-daughter bond. Looking back, I can't help but feel a sense of longing, as if I've missed out on an essential part of life. Yet, over the years, I have come to grasp a glimpse of what I believe it should be.

During my childhood, my mother had a close friend who would visit us regularly. Whenever he came over, he would bring my favorite snacks and captivate me with bedtime stories about the mischievous adventures of the cunning tortoise. I would run to him, exclaiming "Big Daddy" with joy, and he would catch me in his arms, playfully lift me up, and place me on his lap. I would excitedly chatter away about my day, sharing personal details meant only for family. In my young mind, he became like family, and I would proudly boast to my classmates that he was my father. He held a special place in my heart then, and he still does now. Sometimes, I wonder how different my upbringing would have been without those cherished moments, as I can't imagine anything that could replace those memories. Unfortunately, this kind-hearted man passed away a few years ago, but his memory will forever remain dear to me.

With age, I have come to understand that fatherhood encompasses much more than the experiences I had. Our society often fails to recognize the immense sacrifices made by men for their families. Men leave their own families to build a home for themselves, their wives, and their children. A good and responsible man dedicates most of his life to his family, prioritizing their needs over his own. Despite being labeled as the "stronger sex," men are denied the opportunity to show vulnerability, express emotions, or make mistakes. If they do, they often face criticism even from those they consider family and friends—the very people who should be there to support them in their times of need. Men, too, are human beings and should be allowed to experience a range of emotions, to be fragile, and to acknowledge their pain. They are integral members of society and contribute significantly to its growth. These men are our fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles, and friends.

I have come to realize that being a father goes beyond simply being a playmate. Deep contemplation has led me to the conclusion that not having a biological father does not make me fatherless. I am fortunate to have two wonderful men who are married to my elder sisters. They have stepped into the role of father figures with grace and love, defying societal norms. Through their presence and guidance, I have gained a clearer understanding that being a father is not solely determined by genetics but is rooted in love—the truest and purest form of love.

 XOXO